


you're the universe (i'm helpless in)

by melancholyandserendipity



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: #Smarkle if you squint, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 15:23:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7579300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melancholyandserendipity/pseuds/melancholyandserendipity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You see colours the first time you hear your soulmate say your name.<br/>Riley can see them, but Maya can't. </p><p>or</p><p>I try to give the nickname 'peaches' more meaning and a little bit of angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted them to be a bit older when they meet in this fic.
> 
> I like Ms. Kossal more than the new one lmao

You were ten when you first saw them. The colours. And although life in greyscale was already good, the colours suddenly illuminating and disseminating everywhere around you just made everything look different. Brighter. Happier. Prettier. You have newfound appreciation for the amalgam of pink and blue that sky turns into at dawn,  the way the leaves look in Autumn and her eyes, good God.

Those fucking eyes.

You already predicted from the day you met that her eyes would be beautiful. But this is an entirely new level of beauty. It’s like the sky meeting the sea and though they are actually miles apart, they’re closer than everyone thinks.

_Do, do, do  Dodalee, dodalee, do_

_Do, do, do_

_Do_

_You sing as you sit in your room’s bay window, not really knowing what to do with yourself. Until someone climbs in through the window and –_

_“sup”A girl your age walks in one of the windows and you don’t know what to do until she flops down beside you and you feel a tug in your chest._

_“are you a stranger?”_  
“yeah.” She’s so pretty  
“Are you a stranger coming through my window?”  
“Yeah.”

_“then—“ She stops you from screaming and says_

_“I'm running away from home. I saw your curtains and your pillows, I heard you singing...I like singing better than yelling.” And then “please don’t yell”_

_“Who was yelling?”As if you don’t already know the answer.  
“Mommy and daddy.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Because they always are.” And you feel your heart breaking a little._

_“So what do you do here?” She asks._

_“I sit here and I hope.”_

_“For what?”_

_“For someone to come in and sit with me.” And before you can stop yourself, “Are you her?”_

_“What’s your name?” She smiles a little._

_“I’m Riley.”_

_“Hi Riley.” And then you see it. She probably didn’t notice how your eyes widened a little when you saw how blue her eyes were. Or how everything is more beautiful in colour._

_“I’m Maya Penelope Hart.”_

_“I wanna call you Peaches.” In a world where you don’t see anything but black and white, it’s easier to distinguish people by their smell. Except now you can smell her_ and _see her. Your soulmate. You’re ten!!! Studies have shown most people start seeing colour in middle school, what were you supposed to do? And it scares you that maybe you won’t be her soulmate and so you decided to never say her name. Not yet, at least._

 

* * *

 

 

“We’re the only ones in our squad who can’t see colours! And I’m the _artist_.” Maya says as she climbs in through your window.

You freeze for a second before you reply, “I know, Peaches. And we’re gonna be late.”

“Hopefully in high school, I’ll meet him and I can finally see what I paint” She says as you both enter Abigail Adams High School, everyone buzzing around  
“So you mean you have no interest in actually loving your soulmate?” _him. She’s straight, gosh._

“Not everyone can have a fairytale, Riles. Look at Zay and Lucas! It’s actually nice to see that soulmates don’t necessarily mean a house, 2 kids, and a picket white fence. You could be soulmates and just be friends. To be honest, I think it’s kind of liberating. Zay and Lucas are now free to date anyone at all! I mean that’s why Lucas and I dabbled on it a little during—I’m gonna stop now.”

“You don’t have to do that, Peaches. It was just a crush.”

“But you were hoping for him to be your soulmate, Riley.” _Nope, that was you Maya._

“Well we have a lot a head of us, I know we’ll find them soon.”

“The sooner, the better. I want to create art and actually see the colours y’know.” She huffs as she sits down in front of the drawing(drafting?) table. You’re in art class now and no matter how hard Ms. Kossal tries to hide it, you still manage to find the purple paint. You even almost got caught that one time.

_“Riley, another purple cat.” Ms.Kossal says as she raises her eyebrows at you.  
“How did you even know that’s purple?” Maya asks from beside you._

_“I always ask Yogi for help.”  
“Why not one of our friends?” _

_Because Farkle would figure everything out immediately. Because Zay and Lucas would be suspicious of me. Because I can’t tell you anything. Because I’m in love with you. Wait, what? But instead you say, “oh well Yogi fits everywhere plus, he’s great at looking for stuff.”--  and he always covers up for me._

“Okay class, for those who can see colour, find inspiration from the galaxy. The stars, planets et cetera. The moon, for those who can’t.”

You stand up and go to one of the cupboards behind Farkle and start looking for the paint. You call over Yogi and whisper a few unrelated things to him and 2 minutes later, you sit beside Maya and start. You glance over to her canvas and see nothing but black and your heart breaks a little. _I'm so sorry._

The bell rings and you hear Ms. Kossal call you as you stand up. "Riley could you please stay back for a while." You swear you can see Maya staring at her hard from the corner of your eye and you just nod.

"It's okay Peaches, I'm sure the purple cats aren't too good for my grades." You laugh a little and she leaves.

"I know you can see, Riley."  
"Of course I can, I have eyes" you utter with a smile.  
"Why are you so afraid of telling people?"

Your face turns serious now and you only know that because you see her gape a little and then "It's Maya isn't it? That's why she's still on this side of the classroom. You're scared of telling _her_ , not everyone else. You're scared that it can go wrong right? Like how I’m still a miss now even if I'm an artist who can see."

You must've started crying because she's hugging you now and all you can say is, "What happened?"

The two of you sit where you and Maya usually do and she smiles while going back to her memories. "Well I loved him. And he loved me. Maybe we loved each other too much. Or maybe that was just me. I was so engrossed in him. We were already in college, we met at an Art History class and being two of the five people there who couldn't see, the professor just paired us up for this one essay and told us to take a chance. I'm still grateful to that professor until now. Anyways, we moved in together after college and we loved each other very much. One thing my professors kept telling me was that it wasn't me on my paintings, like I wasn't there, I didn't do that. And I got so frustrated with that, I decided to quit being a full blown artist and get a teacher license instead. He got an offer to go to Iceland for an architectural firm because he was the more technical artist, with houses and buildings etc. I told him I can't leave the states, my life is here and we didn't even fight on it. When you both know it's the end, it's not worth fighting over anymore. And we both knew that we just couldn't take more of each other. That I was keeping him from a dream he's had since he was a little girl and he was keeping me from finding myself."

You're both crying now ((mostly you though)) and you ask her what happened next. "I painted. I painted and painted and painted until I ran out of paint. I went to the university a fortnight later and they told me that I've finally found my voice. And I knew that before going to them but after their comments I just felt contented with myself. And I called him and we still love each other and grateful for helping the other grow."

"So you think it could still be okay between me and Maya when she finds out?"

"I know that it'll be better for you guys. Don't think I can't see your erased sketches, Maya only looks at your cats for a while but I have to _grade_ those things." You both laugh and she continues "I know you put more in your art than you let on. Maybe painting just isn't your kind of art. What's this then?" She asks about your latest purple cat.

"Oh. Well there's the moon and me on it."

"Except there’s this tiny girl in this corner that you haphazardly erased."

"I love her to the moon and back." You blush a little because it's so cheesy. But it's so you. And that's all that matters. She smiles at you and then gasps a few seconds later.

"You only have 15 minutes left! I'll write you a note for your next class. It's your dad anyways, right?"

You nod and thank her while picking up your things to leave. It's hard to ignore the worried looks as you enter the classroom and give your dad the note.

"Gosh guys, she just wanted to talk about my grades."

"Riles, at this rate you're never gonna get to college." She jokes, lifting up the mood. You try to ignore the way Farkle and Zay look at you and you just look at your father.

“Well you’re just in time for today’s assignment, Riley. You guys need to do something courageous and write something about it.” The class groans in response and he continues, “It’s Friday today so you can’t tell me you didn’t at least make an effort. Have a nice weekend.”

You exit the class holding Maya’s hand and you don’t let go until you’re about to leave the train. She pull you back and puts something in your hand before letting you go again. You see the strawberry candy she always gives you when you feel down and you give her a grateful smile before the train takes her away.

 

* * *

 

 

You’re sitting in the bay window when you hear someone knocking on your door. Farkle and Zay enter and you kind of expected this but not what they’re about to say.

“So here’s my theory, you can see the colours. Ms. Kossal knows you can see them and you’ve been hiding it from everyone else for a long time now. Why? Because you’re afraid your soulmate won’t actually love you and you won’t have 2 kids, a picket white fence, and unicorns. You’re afraid to tell everyone because you would be forced to tell your soulmate as well, because your soulmate is--”

“Maya.” Zay interrupts Farkle and then “You’re scared what happened to me and Lucas would happen to you. Well that’s not true, sugar. It was a mutual decision that we wouldn’t be romantically linked but we’re still soulmates, and we love and support each other in everything. In this world where hopeless romantic stories are much more likely because of the soulmate thing, not everything can go the way we want it to. Some soulmates are separated by their parents because of social status or gender or race etc and we have to work on this, I know. But there are some things that just slip out of your hand and you have no control over that you have to live through. Coming out of this alive and stronger and wiser is what will make you a better person. Whether or not Maya’s in love with you too.”

You’re both gaping at Zay now, and he adds “What? Y’all can’t believe that all the chatter that comes out of me is superficial? Man, you guys aren’t even trying to pay attention. That’s Lucas’s thing.” He laughs while exiting your room. (probably to get a bowl of cereal anyways)

“Wow. Riley, I hope you do our homework in the best way you can.” Farkle hugs you before he leaves and you’re more grateful for you friends now than you have ever been before.

 

* * *

 

“Morning loser! Oh. You’re not yet awake?”

“Riley I can’t believe you’re actually sleeping in! I’ve been a good bad influence.”

“Rileeeeeey. Wake up.”

“ughhhafghdh”  
“Where’s the rest of my candy?”

“In my yellow sweater somewhere.” _Shit_. You’re wide awake now but you try to look like you’re sleeping. You know you both froze at what you said and she’s shouting now.

“YOU CAN SEE THEM. SINCE WHEN? I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DIDN’T TELL ME.” She’s shaking you now and you try to avoid the little tears that you can see on her face.

“Riley, who?”

“Maya, I--" and in a split second you see her eyes widen and she’s out the window again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, i'm not really sure how I want this to end. If you could follow me on tumblr (same username), that'd be great! I'll follow back and I don't know what I'm doing HAHA so if u could show me the ropes that would be amazing. 
> 
> have mercy, this is my first fanfic like ever.


	2. Chapter 2

“Riley”  
  
“Rileeeeeeey”  
  
“Riley, wake up!” You bolt up at the sound of Farkle’s voice, your hands patting around for your phone. _13:43_. You didn’t even realize you slept for three hours after crying for ten minutes because of Maya’s  departure.

_2 missed calls from Farkle_

_5 texts from Lucas_

_3 texts and a missed call from Zay_

_1 text from Smackle that you’re sure is as concise and astute as a text can be_

_And nothing from Maya._

It’s getting a little bit harder to breathe and you’re almost sure it’s because your heart is shattering into a myriad of tiny pieces and all you can hear right now is _she hates me, she hate me, she hates me_ for what seems like an hour but you realized it’s only been a minute as Farkle’s hand hovers in front of your face.

“Riley? Okay can you breathe with me?” You nod as you stare at him blankly.

“Inhale, Exhale. Inhale, Exhale. Inhale Exhale.”

“You wanna tell me why you and Maya were both missing from Topanga’s today?”

“And why looking at your notifications gives you panic attacks now?”  Smackle interjects. You didn’t even sense her until now. You nod slowly and open your mouth to speak but it closes just as soon as it opens.

“I—I said her name.” That’s enough for Farkle to wrap his arms around you for a warm hug but Smackle asks more.

“So what’s the problem, why isn’t she with you right now?”

“Smackle, Maya saw the colours and probably ran away.” Farkle answers for you, as if he already knows you can’t really be a functional human right now. He turns to you and says, “It’s gonna be okay Riley, Lucas and Zay are looking for Maya right now because neither of you were answering us so we split up.”

“So what are you going to do? You’re not even sure if she _really_ took off because she hates you. Aren’t you going to go get your soulmate?”

And just like that, a spark glints in your eyes and you jump right off your bed. _Do something courageous this weekend._ Isn’t that right, dad?

“You’re absolutely right. Thank you Smackle” You say before hugging her. It takes Smackle a whole five seconds before she gives into it.

“You can let go now, Riley. We brought you your usual from Topanga’s. Figured you’d still want your coffe even if you bailed on us.”

“You’re truly godsends guys.” And you’re hugging them again.

“She does feel emotions too much.” Smackle mumbles with a chuckle.

“We’ll call you if we find Maya.” Farkle says before breaking the hug and leaving with Smackle in tow.

* * *

It’s 4:30. It’s been six hours since Maya bolted out of your room to god knows where. She wasn’t in the subway you’d usually be at seven in the morning. She wasn’t in the park she painted a mural for. And she wasn’t in Topanga’s the last four times that you checked.

“Not in the library.” Farkle sighs as he walks in the café with Smackle.

“They didn’t see her in Demolition either.” Zay mutters.

“The last time her mom saw her was when she left for your apartment this morning” Lucas says and you sink further in your seat.

“Ugh why would she just _go_?” Lucas asks

“That’s what Maya does, she’s good at running away from her problems” Farkle replies with a sigh.

“What if she ain’t running?” You look up when Zay says those words because –

“Like there isn’t really a problem to run away from in the first place?” Lucas continues for him

“Yeah! Maybe Maya’s just taking it all in.” By the time Zay finishes his sentence, you’re already up and it takes you just under 20 seconds to kiss them all quickly by their cheeks and rush out the door.

* * *

 

You take 20 minutes to arrive at your destination and you’re breathing heavily now, not knowing what to expect from the next moments to come. You turn the doorknob and –

_There she is._

Maya is standing there, in the middle of their high school’s art room, painting like her life depended on it and for the first time today, you smile. Your real genuine smile, the one that reaches your ears and you don’t even notice that you’re crying as well until you taste the salt in your mouth.

Maya turns around upon hearing your sniffles and smiles, “Hey Riley.” You take five small steps forward and as if knowing that you won’t be getting far soon, she goes (it’s almost a jump) to you and she’s hugging you. _How_ could she be hugging you right now? You hug back, you hug like it’s the last time you’ll ever get to hug her. And maybe it is.

“Can you please stop crying honey?” But just like that, there’s a glimmer of hope in you.

“Aren’t you mad?” Maya laughs as you, as in really laughs and that makes you smile a little but her face turns serious now, “I couldn’t be mad at you for longer than five minutes, Riles. I was angry that you kept it from me, y’know? I’ve wanted to see them since the day I knew they existed, I felt like I was missing out on something I could’ve had six years ago.” She pauses and then smiles at you.

“And then I looked around. I saw so many beautiful things, so many beautiful people. And I couldn’t stop thinking of you and how beautiful you are, how everything I thought was good about you and the world was literally changing into something better. So I did the first logical thing, I painted.”

“I’m so sorry Peaches.” You stammer “I was so so scared when I saw them, I—We were seven! Nobody had found their soulmates then and time passed by and I couldn’t bring myself to say anything because I had read about someone being your soulmate but you’re not theirs. I was so scared of saying anything because I didn’t want to end up like Lucas and Zay when I was already falling in love with you.” Your eyes widen at the words that just came out of your mind and Maya seems surprised with that too but she just smiles even wider.

“I wanted it to be you. When I was fourteen I decided that if we still couldn’t see the colours at Thirty, I’d fight for you. I’ve always wanted you to be my soulmate, Riles.” She wipes your face with the sleeve of the flannel she’s wearing and then “So I’ve been learning a whole lot of things since I started seeing them and y’know what I learned just now? I’ve been observing the light move during the day and you know what happens at 5:30?”

“You turn gold, Riley” She whispers as she presses your foreheads together, cupping your cheeks and asking your eyes for permission and yet you still don’t expect it—she’s kissing you now and you take three more seconds before you could put your hands around her neck and go deeper, as if you’re making up for lost time. She pulls back and chuckles before saying, “and I love you too, dork”

Everything seems fine until you hear a loud gasp from Maya, with a horrified look on her face.

“Riley.”

“What happened?”

“Oh my god.”

“What?!”

“You cannot tell anyone I was in school on a _Saturday."_

You both erupt laughing as she hugs you again. “You asshole, I thought it was something bad” You say with a chuckle, being sneaky enough to wipe Maya’s face with a little paint. She grins mischievously as she throws you a whole can of paint.

“HEY!”

“That was for the six years you waited.” Maya sticks her tounge out at you.

“The best things in life are worth waiting for Maya!” You grin because you know. You _know_ you’ve never spoken truer words before. And Maya’s more than worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took a literal year to be finished and I'm so sorry for that HAHAHA. Thank you for reading though and to make up for not updating properly, I have a one-shot that's gonna be up next week :)
> 
> Hope this ending doesn't disappoint!

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, i'm not really sure how I want this to end. If you could follow me on tumblr (same username), that'd be great! I'll follow back and I don't know what I'm doing HAHA so if u could show me the ropes that would be amazing. 
> 
> This isn't beta'd btw hit me up if you want to be my beta <3  
> have mercy, this is my first fanfic like ever.


End file.
